


It's about to get crazy up in here!
(“He… could… go… all… the… way!”)
Last week, the TBL2 gods served up a spicy sampler of chaos. The Rockin’ Squatches held off KingAj86 in a thriller, Double Sluggo kept the death grip on the 1-seed, and Jakku Resistance once again proved why you don’t bet against the Rebellion. Meanwhile, the Grave Diggers are still digging for answers, Guinness remains flat, and the playoff picture has more twists than a M. Night Shyamalan flick.
As we head into Week 10, only a few things are clear — Slugg’s steamrolling, NK’s not backing down, and Jakku’s Jedi are one more win from clinching immortality. Let’s break it down, Boomer-style!
Storyline:
Two cellar dwellers walk into a bar… and one of them might actually walk out with a win. Anthony “Trust the” Ciocca is looking to turn a little faith into fantasy fortune, while Jason “Dry Stout” Stevens just wants something to foam over.
QB:
The Process: Justin Fields
Guinness: Bryce Young
Edge: The Process — Fields at least runs for something.
RBs:
The Process: Devin Singletary, Rashod Bateman
Guinness: David Montgomery, AJ Dillon
Edge: Guinness — Monty’s volume gives him the pour.
WRs:
The Process: Olave, Flowers, Egbuka
Guinness: Meyers, Shepard, Bowers
Edge: The Process — Egbuka and Olave could be the taproom tandem.
TE:
The Process: Juwan Johnson
Guinness: Theo Johnson
Edge: Push — Battle of the Johnsons. Yep, we’re saying it.
DL/LB/DB:
The Process: Zach Allen leading the trenches
Guinness: Xavier Watts anchoring the back end
Edge: Guinness — more upside on defense.
Bottom Line:
This could be the “Get Right” game neither team gets right.
Prediction: The Process 116.2 – 102.8
What’s at Stake: Avoiding the Wooden Spoon of Shame.
Storyline:
The Possum Posse tries to sneak in late, but Ryan “Rummels in the Jungle” Rummel has been stacking wins like loose change. After a tough loss to Double Sluggo, the Pennies are angry — and that’s bad news for a Possum crossing the road.
QB:
Big Possum: Tua Tagovailoa
Ass Pennies: Josh Allen
Edge: Ass Pennies — Tua talks the talk, but Josh runs the run.
RBs:
Big Possum: Etienne, Guerendo
Ass Pennies: Breece Hall, Jordan Mason
Edge: Ass Pennies — Hall’s upside shines here.
WRs:
Big Possum: Sutton, Golden
Ass Pennies: Shakir, McMillan
Edge: Push — both mid-tier, but McBride’s a cheat code at TE.
TE:
Big Possum: Schoonmaker
Ass Pennies: Trey McBride
Edge: Ass Pennies — big time.
DL/LB/DB:
Big Possum: Brian Burns, Devin White
Ass Pennies: Jack Campbell, Akeem Davis-Gaither
Edge: Slight to Pennies — those linebackers cash in.
Bottom Line:
Allen and McBride could be too much to handle.
Prediction: Ass Pennies 142.7 – 118.4
What’s at Stake: Pennies push for wildcard; Possums push for pride.
Storyline:
This one’s for bragging rights in the basement. Andrew “Royal Pain” Oblisk vs Elgin “Six Feet Under” LaStrape. One’s got Caleb, the other’s got chaos.
QB:
KingAj86: Caleb Williams
Grave Diggers: Jarrett Stidham
Edge: KingAj86 — because Caleb’s alive.
RBs:
KingAj86: Ashton Jeanty, Tyrone Tracy Jr.
Grave Diggers: Derrick Henry, Gibson rotation
Edge: Grave Diggers — King Henry still swings the hammer.
WRs:
KingAj86: Doubs, Austin III, Thomas Jr.
Grave Diggers: Hopkins, Harrison Jr., Lane
Edge: Grave Diggers — MHJ may dig the grave himself.
TE:
KingAj86: Sam LaPorta
Grave Diggers: Tyler Warren
Edge: Push — LaPorta’s elite, Warren’s on fire.
DL/LB/DB:
KingAj86: Devonte Wyatt, Verse
Grave Diggers: Parsons, Hufanga
Edge: Grave Diggers — that’s an All-Pro tandem.
Bottom Line:
Henry and Hufanga rise from the dirt to grab a W.
Prediction: Grave Diggers 138.6 – 126.9
What’s at Stake: Pride. And maybe next year’s draft order.
Storyline:
Now we’re talkin’ prime time! Trey “Shot Glass” McKinney and his Bombs square off with Marc “Mountain Man” Benedict’s Ozarks in a potential playoff preview. Both can put up 170 in a heartbeat.
QB:
JB: Jared Goff
OZK: Jordan Love
Edge: Jager Bombs — Goff’s got the better bar tab.
RBs:
JB: CMC, Dowdle
OZK: Barkley, Cook
Edge: Push — elite all around.
WRs:
JB: DeVonta Smith, Wilson, McConkey
OZK: Adams, Diggs, Nacua
Edge: Ozarks — that’s a Sunday triple feature.
TE:
JB: Mason Taylor
OZK: George Kittle
Edge: Ozarks — experience wins.
DL/LB/DB:
JB: Aidan Hutchinson, Okereke
OZK: Joey Bosa, Cashman, Starks
Edge: Ozarks — strong defense travels.
Bottom Line:
The Jager Bombs are due for a hangover.
Prediction: Ozarks 156.3 – 149.9
What’s at Stake: Ozarks climb the mountain; JB stays top-three.
Storyline:
A galactic showdown between Tom “Skywalker” DiOrio and Mike “Con Man” Young. Jakku’s been the story of the year — but the Con Men are the league’s trickiest out.
QB:
JAKU: Jalen Hurts
CON: Drake Maye
Edge: Jakku — The Force is strong with this one.
RBs:
JAKU: Aaron Jones, Warren
CON: Rachaad White, Wan’Dale (converted)
Edge: Jakku — more proven production.
WRs:
JAKU: Waddle, Collins
CON: Odunze, Smith-Njigba
Edge: Push — youth vs swagger.
TE:
JAKU: Goedert
CON: Otton
Edge: Jakku — steady target share.
DL/LB/DB:
JAKU: Crosby, Queen, Cross
CON: Latu, Bonitto, Stingley
Edge: Crazy Con Men — serious pass rush upside.
Bottom Line:
This one’s closer than it looks — but Hurts closes like a champ.
Prediction: Jakku Resistance 172.8 – 165.1
What’s at Stake: Potential playoff seeding tiebreaker. Buckle up.
Storyline:
The volcano vs. the visionary. NK’s fiery defense meets The Architect’s blueprints for domination. Winner could grab a bye seed.
QB:
NK: Lamar Jackson
TA: Joe Burrow
Edge: NK — dual threat dynamite.
RBs:
NK: Mixon, Swift
TA: Kamara, Jacobs
Edge: Push — pure firepower both sides.
WRs:
NK: Chase, Brown
TA: Hill, Jefferson
Edge: The Architect — that’s an all-time combo.
TE:
NK: Hockenson
TA: Pitts
Edge: NK — consistency counts.
DL/LB/DB:
NK: Bosa, Roquan, Derwin
TA: Parsons, Warner, Hamilton
Edge: The Architect — defensive clinic.
Bottom Line:
It’s strength vs. strength — but NK’s mobility might break the structure.
Prediction: Nea Kameni 161.4 – 157.3
What’s at Stake: Division supremacy and playoff insurance.
Storyline:
It’s King Kong vs Godzilla. The Sluggo Express just keeps rolling, but the Squatches are lurking in the forest — and they’d love nothing more than to trip the giant.
QB:
SLUG: Mahomes
RS: Dak Prescott
Edge: Sluggo — automatic.
RBs:
SLUG: Bijan, Gibbs
RS: Cook, Stevenson
Edge: Sluggo — youth and juice.
WRs:
SLUG: Lamb, Wilson
RS: Metcalf, Amon-Ra
Edge: Push — fire everywhere.
TE:
SLUG: Kelce
RS: Engram
Edge: Sluggo — it’s Kelce, come on.
DL/LB/DB:
SLUG: Crosby, Roquan
RS: Watt, Smith
Edge: Push — both defenses bite.
Bottom Line:
The train keeps on slugging.
Prediction: Double Sluggo 177.5 – 163.6
What’s at Stake: Sluggo clinches top seed; Squatches cling to playoff edge.
Storyline:
The Dusters are just playing spoiler, while JoeStradamus still sees the future — and it looks like a playoff push if he can get a little luck.
QB:
DUST: Dak Cousins combo
JOE: C.J. Stroud
Edge: JoeStradamus — the prophecy demands it.
RBs:
DUST: Edwards, Pacheco
JOE: Walker, Pierce
Edge: JoeStradamus — RB edge.
WRs:
DUST: Higgins, Pittman
JOE: Addison, London
Edge: Push — both talented but inconsistent.
TE:
DUST: Musgrave
JOE: Schultz
Edge: JoeStradamus — touchdown magnet.
DL/LB/DB:
DUST: Okoronkwo, Milano
JOE: Allen, Payne
Edge: Push.
Bottom Line:
The crystal ball doesn’t lie.
Prediction: JoeStradamus 146.8 – 125.5
What’s at Stake: Joe fights for life; Dusters sweep up what’s left.
Double Sluggo can clinch the No. 1 seed this week with a win.
Jakku Resistance, NK, and JB are circling bye territory.
Ozarks and AP are fighting for wildcard positioning.
Grave Diggers and KingAj86 are playing spoiler… or draft pick savant.
Ten weeks down, and the TBL2 playoff picture is tighter than Belichick’s hoodie strings. Stars are rising, streaks are snapping, and everyone’s got a shot — if they can survive the stretch run.
So strap in, folks — it’s crunch time in The Big League’s little brother that never plays small.
Projected League-High Score: Double Sluggo
Upset Alert: Ozarks over Jager Bombs
Game of the Week: Jakku Resistance vs Crazy Con Men
Blowout Watch: Ass Pennies over Big Possum Walks Late