We’re starting the second half of our regular season this week and I know that I can tend to focus on the negatives in this column.  This week will be different though.  I’m going to try to say something nice about everyone’s team.  You’re welcome in advance. 

Well shit.  A tough one right off the bat.  The Bolsheviks will likely have one of the better performances from their bench this week, with Puka Nacua’s 15.92 points already banked.  I’m sure the Bolsheviks have put him in if they’d known he was playing.

The Hamburg Hooligans are easily the second-best 3-4 team in the league and will prove that by getting to 4-4 this week.  This team might live and die with CeeDee Lamb.

T**m H**s is living off of Burrow, Williams, and St. Brown.  They will continue to do so this week with the added touch of starting the WR with my favorite name to say, Iosivas.  Even better that they are starting a guy that their opponent this week just dropped.

That opponent is Balls of Hate who have been hanging in there despite Jonathan Taylor’s injury and Tua’s injury, which has pretty much made Tyreek Hill useless.  But much like Tua, we’re going to forget everything that has happened so far this year and look ahead, and this team should be in decent shape moving forward.

Team Blitz-Craig is winning with smoke and mirrors, but they continue to win more than they lose.  If Nick Chubb can work his way back to being a reliable fantasy asset, they might have enough to eek their way into the playoffs, especially from a weak division.

I rarely say that I am cheering for the Teddy Ruxpins, but I am.  I’m cheering for them to finish with the worst record and miss the Toilet Bowl.  I think they have a really good chance to do it.  And they also have the best kicker in their matchup this weekend, and most weeks to be honest.

If Turbo removed the red circle from their logo, they would have the best logo in the league.  That’s it.  I can’t think of anything else nice to say about this team.  Oh, I thought of something else.  I really like that they are starting a TE from one of the worst offenses in the league that they picked up for free over a TE from maybe the best offense in the league that they spent $55 on.  Great management!

nWo Wulfpack is the best team in the league who starts backups every week at both RB slots and usually one of their WR slots.  Lamar Jackson covers up for a lot of inadequacies.

A few days after delivering their own daughter in the parking lot of the hospital, Trash Pandas will deliver another victory and remain atop the East-West Conference.  As long Houston and Tampa keep scoring, this team should be in pretty decent shape.  Just don’t rely on them to get you anywhere important on time.  They might come up a little short.

My Ball Zach Ertz is a nurse, but probably never delivered a baby in a car.  And when I look at their team filled with guys that real life NFL teams don’t want to be #1s, I can’t help but think of how nice the draft room that MBZE provided us this year.  Much better than expected. 

The Nigerian Yaks are trying to become the first team in the league to win without a TE.  They keep starting guys that would fit in better on Wulfpack or My Ball Zach Ertz. 

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Hair Bear might have the best stable of TEs once TJ Hockenson comes back.  Hockenson is excellent and they already have Evan Engram, who is the best offensive weapon on the Jags, even if they don’t know it.

The Liq-ourballs blueprint is pretty obvious by now.  Start a quality QB, especially if he is going to play on Monday night.  Start some RBs that either used to be good or have yet to be good.  And start at least one guy that has been shot.  Not gonna lie.  A WR getting shot was on my bingo card, but a white WR getting shot was not.

I keep seeing commercials for Peter Vasilion for Erie County Family Court Judge and can’t help but think he looks like Shock Value if they became an adult.  I always cheer for Kirk Cousins.

It’s exhausting to be so overwhelmingly positive.  I’m running out of steam.  Mad Dogs will be interesting to keep an eye on.  They are pretty solid across the board, but maybe don’t have anybody with a super high ceiling.  A stark contrast to some of the other contenders that are built to be more boom or bust.

And last and maybe least, nWo.  They have Saquon Barkley who I will praise every week.  That dude is the best RB in the league and is showing it so far this season.  nWo believed in him so much that they almost literally have no other NFL players on their roster.  Interesting strategy.