Turbo vs Yaks

Last week, Turbo played a team that started two guys who scored 0 points.  Both of those guys outscored Turbo’s Chris Olave, who scored -1.65.  You can probably guess how that game ended up for Turbo.  But this week they get to play the Nigerian Yaks who can’t play defense very well.  Turbo, maybe the worst 4-2 team in the history of the league, will likely score 120 this week and win easily.  Right now, the Yaks are the favorites to win the Toilet Bowl.

Balls of Hate vs Trash Pandas

Trash Pandas went off last week.  Their only player that didn’t score in double digits was DeMeco Ryans.  Right now, this team is a train.  Maybe even a Pain Train.  While that was happening, Balls of Hate got a whopping 1.34 points out of Justice Hill and he outscored their other starting RB, Zack Moss, by 1.9.  You can guess how that week turned out for Balls of Hate.  I can basically copy/paste what I just wrote about Turbo for Balls of Hate.  If Turbo isn’t the worst 4-2 team ever, BoH might be.  Trash Pandas might win by 100 this week.

nWo Wulfpack vs Shock Value

nWo Wulfpack had three starters get outscored by Sean McDermott last week and still won.  That’s called being lucky.  This week, not so much.  Wil Lutz already scored 19.8 for Shock Value and that will be more than everyone for Wulfpack except maybe Lamar, and Kupp if he is back to normal.  Shock Value is already starting to run away with their division, coming into today with a 2 ½ game lead already.  They will continue their hot start this week.

Teddy Ruxpins vs Hairbear

Hairbear finally lived up to their pre-season billing with 7 of 8 position players scoring at least 15 points last week.  It would have been 8 of 8 had they started Josh Downs over George Pickens.  The Ruxpins continued their run of mediocrity and that might be even a little bit of a generous summation of that team.  In our nearly annual matchup of which is the better secondary institution Niagara or Canisius, Hairbear will win easily.  That being said, everyone knows that anybody that cares about the name status of their university that goes to one in this area, goes to the University of Rochester. 

Bolsheviks vs Liq-Ourballs

As has become somewhat predictable for Liq-ourballs, if they have guys still playing on Monday Night, they will likely win, no matter how far behind they are entering the night.  Last week they got 49.78 points on Monday night.  The way that this season has been going for the Bolsheviks, they are happy to score 50 points in total.  This team is bad.  And even though Liq is not starting the right WRs, they will still win the weak week pretty easily.

Team Blitz-Craig vs My Ball Zach Ertz

My Ball Zach Ertz had six of their nine starters post scores of 7.01 points or less last week.  They still would have beaten Balls of Hate.  But in general, they aren’t going to beat much of anyone.  That continues this week against Blitz-Craig, who has been pretty fortunate to win 3 games in which they failed to score 90 points.  If they get to 90 this week, they might win by 20.

Hamburg Hooligans vs Mad Dogs

The Mad Dogs have quietly been one of the best teams in the league all season.  The Hooligans, who I picked to be one of the best teams in the league, have underperformed all year.  This matchup is to see who is the King of Mt. Vernon.  I think that is the name of the street.  For those that don’t know, Losel moved onto the same street that Jeff lived on.  Jeff had already gotten the hell out of Dodge though, so they were never actually neighbors.  While it was good foresight to leave before the neighborhood was overrun, the Hooligans have not showed that same skill with their lineup and have inexplicably left Tank  Bigsby on their bench.  That will help the Mad Dogs to win fairly easily this week.

T**m H**s vs nWo

I hate picking T**m H**s to win.  Is it too late to change the schedule so I don’t have to?  This version of nWo is akin to the version that had Hogan and a bunch of jobbers.  nWo has Saquon Barkley and pretty much nobody else.  Maybe Brock Purdy will go off this week?  Well, maybe Scott Norton should have won the WCW championship?  What are we doing here?  Meanwhile, T**m Horseshoe Up Their Ass gets another easy win.